Day Seven

Day Seven

Wednesday I was sitting at the gallery with Eileen and talking about changes and loss. Her good friends are leaving the neighborhood and she is feeling it. A support system and mutual aid that is necessary in their area will be gone. We talked about losing family members, animals, lifestyles, big changes that showed our wounds and the remaining scars from healing. Then I opened my journal and read Kay R.’s prompts for the week. I responded.

PS, an excerpt from a long writing.

I lost my job. My safe place where I was able, confident, and accepted. I was deeply depressed for about six months, physically and emotionally in pain. The injury to my spine was the easiest part to deal with. It was the isolation, rejection, loss of role and identity, and sense of belonging that hurt the most. One morning I woke up and said, If I’m going to keep waking up, then I need to do a better job of it. That day everything changed. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I now had the time and opportunity to explore the possibilities for new experiences, new uses of my skills as well as new skills, new people. A whole new look at my community. Since then I have become a whole new person. I know about business, politics, people my age who have had the same presidents, people who can talk about topics not related to their work lives. I have a whole new view of who I am and what I can do. Who thought I’d be writing for the public? My columns have readers that like what I have to say about aging well. So, the loss of the job opened the door to another career. I’m still teaching, just different subjects to different students. Life is not over because of loss. It is just different. It is work, major work that requires deep upheavals, churning from the heart. Old aspirations and interests surface and demand attention. The new job comes with a permission slip and an artistic license to get on with self development. I thought I was a teacher and now I know I am so much more than a role.